After Thessia
by MsFemaleGamerUK
Summary: this is my thoughts on What went through shepard after Thessia, very emotional stuff


It was the mission after Thessia, after they arrived onto the normandy and exited the shuttle, Shepard walked towards the elevator, threw off her helmet and got onto the elevator, she didn't bother removing her armour, she pressedthe button for her quarters. It took a matter of minutes to arrive. She exited the elevator and opened the door to her room, walked down the small steps and fell to her knees next to the fish tank. Her mind felt like it was going to explode. Joker tried contacting her to ask if she was ok, but there was no response.

The biotics started to form around her body, the objects in the room started to float. At this point she had no control over her Biotics and there were only two people who could calm her down, and only one of those people was on board.

In the shuttle bay, joker contacted Kaidan "Hey...Eh Kaidan, Shepard aint responding to the com, and Edi says her room is floating about, and that if she keeps this up there will be a hull breach on that floor...Could you like do something before we have another broken Normandy"

Kaidan Just managed to take of his helmet in the shuttle bay, but as he heard the trouble Shepard was in, he rushed into the elevator and punched the button to Shepard's quarters.

As he arrived, he saw objects flying around, and smashing into things, as he moved closer he saw her crying in pain in the middle of the floor and her biotics was going crazy.

He spoke "Shepard...Are you ok"

Shepard screamed "I can't...I Can't do this anymore...The lives...The people"

Kaidan walked a bit closer and sat by her, "Shepard...Can you control your Biotics"

Shepard just nodded "I can't...Its no longer under my control".

He placed a hand on her shoulder "Please Kaidan...I don't want to hurt you"

Tears fell from her face "You can't hurt me...You know that...Only me and one other person can help you..."

her head fell into his chest "That other person...My mother...I don't know if she is alive...Its what scares me most...When other people talk about their family...I worry about her..."

She started punching his chest "I can't remember what we spoke about...we was in vancoover just before I got stuck in the alliance building"

He started to brush her hair out of her face, her door opened and a older woman walked in, the room was still floating with her biotics, she didn't look up at the sound of her door, but Kaidan did, he didn't notice the woman, she walked in and ignored the furniture in the air. "Ellie..." she spoke

Kaidan whispered "Shep...Someone is here to see you"

she looked over his shoulder and saw her, her brown eyes was went wide "So Ellie that pilot of yours says that the room was spinning out of control"

Inside shepard's mind. She could hear the voices of the people that she had gotten killed, thane, Mordin, Ashley, her team that she got killed during the thrasher maw attack, the people of Thessia, the people of earth "You let these people down" spoke a voice. "You got them killed". She nodded "No...It was an accident...The reapers killed them, not me"

She was nodding and screaming. "Ashley killed herself to save your sorry ass, planted a bomb for you, you didn't turn back to save her...Oh no instead you save the love of your life and abandoned her" he was yelling at her

tears were welling up in her eyes, she opened them and looked at him her Biotics was falring in her eyes, she felt like a lost little kid who can't find her way back home.

The voice then continued yelling "And what about thane...Dear old thane, He fought of the enemy who was after the salarian counciler, You was too afraid to fight incase you got him killed, Instead you made a sick ill drell fight him instead, he died because of your weak mind"

She stretched her arms outright and screamed "No!"

The furniture stopped moving and dropped to the ground "They all chose to fight for me, they volunteered...I was just there when it happened"

The voice laughed "Have you even figured it out yet, figured out what these dreams I gave you even mean"

She looked at Kaidan and then her mother and Whispered "I have...Been indoctrinated"

it laughed "And so she figures it out"

the tears stopped dropping and she blinks and talks "The headaches...The hallucinations...Its all there"

Kaidan walks towards her and stops him "Wait" she yells

"That kid I keep seeing...He didn't really die, I was seeing him"

She finally sits on the bed and places her hands on her face "It all makes sense...I was having guilt trips of all these people I blame myself for...Which wasn't true"

She was now laughing "I am finally free.."

She starts jumping in joy Kaidan and her mother was now confused

"Kaidan...Mother...come here and take a seat on the couch" she was now smiling

They both sat down confused "Kaidan...A few months back there was a beacon on some batarian planet


End file.
